GUHUZA IGITSINA N’UWO MUHUJE AMARASO

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N’uwendeye nyina mu nyenga yaramenyekanye. Ndagatora mama.” Uzumva umukecuru abwira umwuzukuru ati”Ngwino Mugabo Wanjye“, cyangwa umusaza abwira umwuzukuru ati “Iyizire mugore wanjye!” Aya magambo aboneka mu muco nyarwanda aratwereka ko atari ibishya cyangwa ibitirano kamere y’abantu bamwe kugerageza guhuza igitsina n’abo basangiye amaraso ba hafi nk’abana n’abavandimwe basangiye ababyeyi. Ayo magambo asa n’aho ari ibiganiro bisanzwe bidafite icyo bitwaye nyamara burya ngo “bishya bishyira Bishyito” kandi ngo “ukuri gushirira mu biganiro”.Na none kandi ngo “imikino ivamo imi…swerano!”

Mu mico myinshi n’amadini menshi birabujijwe guhuza igitsina n’uwo muhuje amaraso kandi akenshi bihanirwa n’amategeko y’umuco cyangwa ya Leta.Dore icyo Bibiliya ibivugaho

Guhuza igitsina n’umukobwa wawe, umuhungu wawe, nyoko, so, nyoko wanyu, muka so, nyogosenge, umwishywa, umukwe, umukazana n’abandi ntibyemewe mu mico myinshi nubwo mu yindi babireba bakabirenza ingohe!

Guhuza igitsina n’umukobwa wawe cyangwa umuhungu wawe byo ni ikizira gikomeye kandi uwabikoze akamenyekana ahura n’isoni n’ikimwaro bitabaho. Nta soni zaruta izo gufatwa uhuza igitsina n’umukobwa wawe cyangwa n’umuhungu wawe. Ariko nubwo umuco ubibuza n’ubushakashatsi bwasanze atari byiza kuko iyo amaraso ari amwe bituma abana bavutse hagati y’abahuje amaraso cyane 50% y’abo bana badakunze kubaho cyangwa ngo bagire ubuzima bwiza.

Ariko amategeko na science ntaho ahuriye n’ibyo umutima wifuza. Nubwo kwiba ari bibi kandi bihanirwa, abantu benshi n’uyu munsi bariba ndetse n’abashinzwe kurinda abajuru ni bo ba mbere mu kwiba. Uburayi n’ubusambanyi ni bibi kandi bihanwa n’amategeko ariko nta munsi badasambana. Icyo nagira ngo mvuge nuko nubwo guhuza ibitsina n’abantu muhuje amaraso nk’abana bawe bitemewe abantu batari bake barabikora. Ntabwo ari abantu bose ariko kamere zacu ziratandukanye. Bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye hari ubwo papa yifuza umukobwa we, umukobwa akifuza se, umuhungu akifuza nyina nk’uko mu migani y’abagereki Oedipe yarongoye nyina, mama akifuza umuhungu we, umuhungu akifuza mushiki we nk’uko Patrick Stuebing na Suzan Karolewski muri Allemagne babigenje, umukobwa akifuza musaza we. Hari n’ubwo bigeraho abasangiye amaraso bagafatana ku ngufu.

KUKI ABAHUJE AMARASO BIFUZANYA?

1. Kudahazanya kw’Abashakanye

Mu ngo zidafite amahoro aho umugabo adahaza umugore ngo n’umugore ahaze umugabo usanga utahaze ashakisha uko yahaga abikuye ku nkumi,umugore cyangwa umusore,umugabo bafite hafi,umwana uri aho, haba aho mu rugo, mu muryango cyangwa hanze.

2.Kuvumbura ikindi igitsina.

-Hari igihe umukobwa na musaza we umwe avumbura igitsina ukwe barangiza bagashaka gukoranaho pratique ngo barebe uko bimera. Nuko utwana turongora utundi. Hari n’ababibona muri TV bakajya gukora pratique kuri bene nyina.

-Umukobwa ukivumbura igitsina ashobora kubona igitsina gabo kimuri hafi ari musaza we cyangwa se agakenera kugerageza igitsina kuri se cyangwa musaza we agatangira gukora uko ashoboye ngo abagushe. Abakobwa bakunze kumva ko ari “Umukobwa wa papa” agashaka ko se amushima bikayobera mu gitsina.

4.Gushima bisanzwe.

Hari igihe umubyeyi abona uko umwana we akura bikamushimisha. Uko umuhungu akura avamo umusore mwiza bishimisha nyina ku buryo urebye nabi atangira kumutekerezaho igitsina; uko umukobwa agenda aba inkumi apfundura amabere aba inkumi ishimishije bishobora gutuma papa amubonamo inkumi nk’indi bahuza igitsina.

5.Uburwayi bwo mu mutwe.

Hari abantu baba barwaye igitsina ku buryo bakora n’ibikorwa byo guhuza igitsina bishobora kubagwa nabi nko gufata abana babo ku ngufu,.Guswera Inyamanswa cyangwa Ibikoko,kwifuza abapfuye, kurya abantu kubera igitsina n’izindi ndwara zo mu mutwe zifitanye isano n’igitsina. Umubare munini w’abafata abana ku ngufu ni abafite icyo bapfana na bo.

6.Kuba nta bundi buryo buhari.

Abakobwa ba Loti
benzwe na se bamaze kubona ko nta wundi mugabo babona ku isi.
-kubura umufasha: binyuze mu gutandukana cyangwa mu gupfakara. Birumvikana ntibyemewe ariko umuhungu mukuru atangira gufatwa nk’umugabo mu bisobanuro byose by’ijambo n’umukobwa agatangira gufatwa nk’umugore.

7.Kugumisha ingoma mu muryango.

Abami n’abamikazi ba kera barongoraga mu bo bahuje amaraso ba hafi kugira ngo ingoma itajya mu yindi miryango.Abami b’i Burayi, mu Misiri n’ahandi barongoranaga na bashiki babo cyangwa na babyara babo kugira ngo ubwami bubagumemo.

Guhuza igitsina mu muryango n’abantu muhuje amaraso ni tabou ntabwo bivugwa ariko bikunze kubaho mu bwihisho kandi n’iyo bimenyekanye bikunze guhishwa. Iyo umugore amenye ko umugabo we yamukoreye k’umukobwa akunze kumuhishira kuko byasebya urugo cyangwa bikarusenya. Umwana w’umukobwa na we wasabwe na se akunze kutabona uburyo bwo kubitangaza kuko aba akeneye byinshi kuri se kandi akenshi aterwa ubwoba ngo ntabivuge. Ni intambara muri rusange.

Ikibazo cy’uko abagore bahuza igitsina n’abahungu babo cyangwa bakabafata ku ngufu cyo ntawe ukitayeho, ariko ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko bikunze kubaho ariko nta muhungu ukunze gutinyuka kuvuga ko nyina yamusabye cyangwa yamufashe ku ngufu. Umuco ntiwemera kumva ibintu nk’ibyo. Umuhungu agomba kwihagararaho ntavuge ngo yafashwe ku ngufu n’umugore!

KWIRINDA GUHUZA IGITSINA N’UWO MUHUJE AMARASO

1.Umubyeyi w’umugabo agomba kumva ko ubwo umukobwa we akuze atagomba kumwifuzaho igitsina ahubwo agomba kumufasha muri byose ngo amutegurire ubuzima mu mu minsi iri imbere. Iyo umukobwa yahuje igitsina na se bikunze kumunanira kurushinga kuko aba yumva nta mugabo umeze nka se yabona akagora umugabo yashatse amusaba ibyo atabona nk’urukundo rwa se.

2.Akenshi impamvu abantu bakunze guhuza igitsina bahuje amaraso ni uko byoroshye kubikora! Akenshi baba babana kandi bizeranye 100% ku buryo nta wikanga undi ngo naryama akinge icyumba cye n’ibindi. Akenshi ibikorwa nk’ibi bibera no mu kwiba umugono kuko baba bari kumwe. Hari nubwo appetit ivuka kubera uburyo badatinyana kubera ko ari umuryango umwe nk’inkumi ikambara ubusa papa ayireba, cyangwa umuhungu akambara ubusa nyina amureba.

3.Guhuza igitsina n’umwana ni bibi. Bigira ingaruka mbi mutwe w’umwana agahahamuka kuko uwari umurinze aba amuhemukiye. Bituma yicwa n’ubwigunge kandi bikazamugora kugira umuntu yizera akuze kuko n’uwamubyaye yamuhemukiye. Abana nk’aba iyo bakuze
birabagora guhuza igitsina mu buryo busanzwe.

ITANGAZO: Ababyeyi bagomba kubaha abana babo bamaze gukura ntibavogere ibyumba byabo. Ugomba kureka inkumi cyangwa umusore bakambarira mu bwihisho bakogera mu bwihisho aho utababona ubwambure. Umukobwa ntagire ibikorwa akora byo kureshya se. Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko iby’igitsina ari amasentiments. Umubiri w’inkumi n’umusore bifite imbaraga zo kukugusha n’ubwo byaba ari iby’umwana wawe.

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